Whazup Wit Olympics!?


Well, I gotta make this quick, cause as usual, I ain’t got no time:

Hopefully, ya’ll been watching the Olympics the last few weeks: its good clean fun to partake in.

Here are some random thoughts, whatevers:

To all the Michael Phelps Haters: Stop it. No, really, you sound pathetic, just stop it. Yes, Michael Phelps is undoubtably a dick. Yes, he undoubtably bangs more super models than he should be. Yes, his ears flap in the wind.

But if you sit there, like so many young males (you don’t hear females hating), talking about how Phelps is “such a loser, ohh, I hate that guy, he’s not even a good athlete, he’s a dweeb who spent his whole childhood in a pool,” ect, ect, if you are in fact THAT GUY: Stop it. Really. Just Stop It.

This Goes Out to My Main Man, USAIN BOLT!:

Now, I know: we all cheer for our respective countries. Its natural. And it makes us feel good, almost in an animal sense, when our country kicks ass in something, or for a smaller country, grabs one single GOLD.

But I can’t help myself: USAIN BOLT IS THE MAN!

Seriously: does anyone else in this games have even close to the amount of charisma this guy has? He’s the man: I can say without a doubt that I would love to hang out with Usain Bolt.

Ofcourse, because he’s kind of a “bad boy, show-boater”, everyone’s coming down on him as being a jerk. The IOC is probably pissed about his antics.

For God’s Sake People: Lighten Up! I know, I know, its proper for athletes to be “cold and silent” in their moments before a race, as they bend down to give it their absolute all: but its such a breath of fresh air to see a smart ass running around having fun, and also kicking ass.



Faves: Watching the US Hoops team DESTROY bitches. WHAT UP WORLD. WHO U BE?!

Faves: Watching weird sports I wouldn’t usually, like fencing. Too bad the damn French won!

Faves: Watching Men’s Gymnastics. Before you call me gay, remember that these guys are some of the strongest, most flexible guys in the universe. If you watch World’s Strong Man Competition, change the channel dude! These guys are the most impressive strength orientated athletes in the world. Period.

As someone who has worked out on and off for about 8 years now, I truly appreciate their strength. I absolutely love watching the Pummel Horse, Rings, Parallell Bars, Floor Exercise, whatever. And then the High Bar, for pure acrobatics, is insane.

Faves: Watching events I used to do in track, like the 400. Damn, dude: I ran a 59 flat. You ran a 43.13. I think I’ll go to bed now. But seriously…..it puts it into perspective when you can relate.

Faves: Seeing old Boston radio host Bob Newmire (Newmie!) interview athletes at the track right after their race.

Not Fave: When Newmie’s a dick to the athletes (c’mon Newmie!).

Ten Things I Think I Hate (Hate’s a Strong Word, so these are things that I kinda like, but I secretly Hate).

I Think I Hate Peter King (I hate you….yet I read you).

I Think I Hate Girls Gymanstics: I kinda enjoy it (not as much as the men’s). But I kind of hate it, for a few reasons:

All Olympic Sports are kinda like this, but with gymastics, you these girls have ABSOLUTELY no life. No childhood. No boyfriends. No nights stumbling home from a kegger.

Nope, these girls get to hang out with their Dad 24-7 and practice uneven bars (atleast Nastia)……

But beyond that…..they don’t look right. The young ones look fine, but I saw a 30 year old woman from Germany that looked like a little boy. She won a medal…..but was it worth it, to transform your body into a little boy’s?

Again, I’m torn…..they are incredible athletes, doing incredible things. I just hope its what they really want to be doing.

I Think I Hate: The Bejing Olmpic atmosphere. China’s really gone out on a limb to host these, and everything seems to be going great, but what happens after its over in a few days. I heard that thousands of people lost their homes to have the Birds Nest, ect, built.

Are we really supporting a good thing here?

Things I Freakin Hate!:

The Protesters: Now look: I’m all about the whole protest thing, if its a good cause. And while I’m a little uninformed, the Free Tibet protest seems legit.

But when I hear about people continually getting arrested, detained, whatever, and then I hear them bitch about when they get home, I can’t help but laugh.

Dude, are you serious? You’re protesting in Freaking China! They block off half of the damn internet from their own citizens! Dumbass!

And I love how their all self-righteous and shit.

“I signed up for a protest permit, and then the Chinese Police came, and they put me in a prison. How Dare They! They acted like they didn’t even know my rights! It’s called Amnesty International, Bro!

Then they tased my scrotum, fed me dog piss, and caned my ass! They are so gonna cringe when they hear from my lawyer!”

But the silliest part is how these dirtbag Phish heads (Yes, I like Phish. Yes, I shower.) think they’re saving the damn world with some frivolous protest. Like, how much does a plane ticket to China cost? That’s a lot of money to go somewhere with a “Free Tibet” and throw a sing-a-long. Hey Asshole, you could have used that money to send the Dalai Lama supplies or something.

Anyway, I’m out. I hope this doesn’t sound to damn angry.

Peace and Chicken Grease.

Till Next Time,



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