This Blog is for you, Mary

Funny thing happened this weekend:

I was out at a party with some friends, and bumped into a girl named Mary that I sort of know. I say sort of know because I only met her once before, when I went to a party at her apartment in Somerville (SOMERVILLE REPRESENT, YO!!) about two weeks ago. Well, to make a long story short, at the end of the night, I gave her one of my blog cards. Actually, I’m lying; I didn’t have a card, so I took a marker and wrote my url the back of a piece of paper…..which happened to be her own business card, which was, well, a little embarrassing. Then again, it was about 4am, so at that point, nothing was really all that embarrassing.

The funny part to this story? That night, when I was talking about my blog, I got the typical blog/party requests that I always get:

“Write about this party!”

“Write about us!”

“Write about how great this party is!”

“Write about me!”

Well, I answered in the same way I usually do:

“I’ll try, but I won’t make any promises.”

“This party? Well, nothing’s really happened.”

“I’ll try, but its not easy writing about parties sometimes.”

When the morning rolled around, I did the same thing I usually do following these requests:

Stared at the screen for a couple minutes, thinking, “How can I make this party interesting.” Followed by me writing something like this:

“The floor was sticky with beer; the sink was filled with butts. Outside, the cops could be heard approaching.”

Followed by me erasing it due to its fictional content.

Its even tougher writing about a person than a party. Imagine trying to write about a person you’ve only met once before, in interesting detail. Its not easy; not only that, it never, ever feels right. Say I met Zoe the night before, and she told me, “Write about me and my friends. No, really: Write about me and my friends.”

So the next morning I sit down, stare at the screen, and write:

“Zoe and her friends stood by the table, waiting for their turn at beer pong. Three cups stood at one end; at the other, a single cup.”

Yah, sure, maybe that doesn’t look too bad, except that it needs to keep going while being interesting. And honestly: beer pong ain’t that interesting when you ain’t playing it. I think I would pay money to not read or write about beer pong. And in all honestly: this is usually the kind of shit that goes on at parties.

This isn’t even taking into consideration that writing about total strangers for the whole internet to see makes me feel extremely creepy.

So when Mary and her friends asked me to write about them and their party, I gave them the usual answers, but I switched my routine in the morning:

Instead of trying, I watched Simpsons DVDs. (Hey, I’m still on hiatus in my mind).

So low and behold, who do I run into this weekend but Mary. And the first thing she said:

“You didn’t write about our party! I went to your blog, and you didn’t write about us.”

Me: “But, but….I didn’t think you’d read it.”

Mary: “Well, I did…..and you blew it.”

So I told them, sincerely, that I’d write about them, and I gave them a real business card (but the wrong one….unfortunately I didn’t have any blog cards on me, so I had to give out my “money cards.”), and asked if they’d go. I was answered with a resounding no, followed by Mary chiming in: “You blew your chance, Greg….you blew it.”

So, although I know its in vain, I say it loudly:


And honestly….your party was alright. I’m not gonna sit here and say it was great, and I’m not going to tell any stories from it (because there weren’t many that happened), but honestly: I enjoyed myself.

Maybe someday, I’ll come to another one……if I’m invited.

And quite honestly…….I don’t think I will be.

Onto some blogging:

I hate to pimp out my work, but Ken Burns recently finished his massive documentary project The War , about World War II, for PBS. Well, I stopped into my parents house after a softball game the other night and was rendered speechless as I watched the last ten minutes of Part 2 (its a six-part series). Seriously……watch The War on your local PBS station.

Moving on…..

How bout some sports?

You didn’t think it was coming, did you. Thought I was gonna finally have a non-sports related post? Well, sorry…..but fall is for sports. Here are some thoughts:

  • I’ve done some seriously crazy dancing before, and sometimes regret it…but seriously Papelbon….seriously.
  • Speaking of the Sox: I know its a big deal that we won the Division for the first time in 13 years, but I just can’t get into that much, seeing as we won the World Series for the first time in 86 years a few years back. Just saying.
  • NFL Teams that suck, and why:
  • The Bears: Because they don’t have a quarterback.
  • The Chargers: Because they don’t have a coach.
  • The Saints: Because for no good reason at all, they suck. And Reggie Bush is Hollywood.

Enough with the damn bullets.

Movies: I don’t think God wants me to see SuperBad, atleast in the theatres. I tried to see it four different times…..and everytime, a divine intervention occurred. I’m just saying.

Trivia: I’ve gotta back into playing trivia at bars. My group is damn good: we dominate the Jeannie Jonhson in Jamaica Plain. Once softball’s over.

Underrated Junk Food of the Week: Wise Onion Rings. Different from Funyons. Funyons are thicker, and cut the upper mouth a little more. The flavor is also not quite as distinct. Wise Onion Rings are firmer, more flavorful, and crisper. Go get some today.

Underrated Candy of the Week: Airheads White Mystery: What is white mystery? What it is it? It is fantastic my friend…..Fantastic.

Underrated Meat of of the Week: Ham….I just feel like its not getting enough play these days.

Underrated Beer of the Week: Miller High Life….but then, Miller High Life is always underrated. My favorite beer is only$4.69 per six-pack at the local Martinetti’s.

A video to watch: My New Haircut. I’m not even going to imbed it: just go to Youtube, and look up ‘My New Haircut.’ This is something you need to do yourself. Trust me.

Another funny video: One of the funniest videos I have seen lately is the Kevin Everett blooper from a local news sports broadcast.  Kevin Everett is the football player for the Bills who was nearly paralyzed on a kickoff, but is now moving again.  The clip is not mean spirited; just very, very funny.

Random Cartoon Video:

He-Man.  Why?  Because he’d want it that way.

Until Next Time,



One thought on “This Blog is for you, Mary

  1. Kev says:

    At least papelpon was drunk. Arent you the dude that danced for train fare sober?

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