Friday Morning Bloggin

A Disclaimer:  Every post I write regarding NFL picks bites Bill Simmons.  No way around it. 

Some quick thoughts before I go to work on Friday, Sep. 28:

When you say you’re on hiatus from something, it really makes it easier to write. I’ve wanted to write all week. Unfortunately, when you’re schedule is filled with work, work related events, softball, various odd jobs, and shooting the shit with people, you don’t have time to write. But really….I’ve been trying to write.

A week old thought no one cares about anymore: For anyone who watches baseball, the whole Milton Bradley thing was the strangest, most bizarre thing I have ever seen. And it sucks: because now San Diego, a small market team in the playoff, loses two of its best guys (Mike Cameron and Milton Bradley). While Milton’s icing that ACL, he should really check into an anger management class. The guy with the coolest name in baseball shouldn’t be such a hothead.

A revelation: I may be one of the worst fantasy football players of all time. I make absolutely terrible trades. Its what I do.

Fashion Help: I’ve been brainstorming for awhile, and can’t think of anything: does any have any Halloween costume suggestions. I usually go for something that’s more funny than serious, and something which I can act out (for example, last year I was K-Fed, and I actually was K-Fed (or my interpretation of him) until I woke up the next morning. Anyway, if you have any suggestions, drop me a line.

Alright, enough screwing around: Here my Week Four NFL picks with the spread:

Home team in caps

Oakland +4 over MIAMI: I don’t see why Miami is favored by this much, even if they are playing at home: Oakland’s a better team, and had a fluky loss with that missed field goal at the end.

Houston -3 over ATLANTA: Here’s a rule you can live by: pick against Atlanta as if you’re life depends on it. There’s some bad karma goin on down there.

Baltimore -4.5 over CLEVELAND: This almost seems like a trap game: Cleveland beat Bengals at home a couple weeks ago, and Baltimore’s offense is painful to watch. Seems like Cleveland might be the pick here. But don’t forget: a) Cleveland let Cincy score forty something points in that game, and b) Baltimore actually has a defense, unlike Cincy. So if I was you…..I’d take Baltimore.

Chicago -3 over DETROIT: I’m excited for the Griese era! It would have been more fun to bring back Kyle Orton, perhaps, but Griese’s much more logical. Hopefully this leads to more touchdowns for Bernard Berriam. One can only hope. In the meantime, I’ll pick the Bears and see if they can actually do anything.

Green Bay -2 over MINNESOTA: Green Bay is good; Minnesota is decent. I’ll take the good team over the decent.

DALLAS -13 over St. Louis: St. Louis sucks. I don’t care about the points; they suck.

BUFFALO +3.5 over Jets: This was the toughest pick of the week. I can’t decipher much between these two aside from their records. But it seems like as good a time as ever for the Bills to come out with a win.

Tampa Bay +3 over CAROLINA: Another tough pick. I’d like to think Carolina wins here, but Tampa Bay’s been too fiesty to ignore.

Seattle -2 over SAN FRAN: Seattle has the lay down the hammer if they expect to contend this year. I think they will here.

Pitt -6 over ZONA: Go with Pitt. Go with Pitt.

SAN DIEGO -12 over Kansas City: There is no way San Diego doesn’t demolish KC; absolutely no way. To quote Tom Green from Roadtrip: It’s gonna be a bloodbath.

INDY -9.5 over Denver: I see touchdowns. Lots of touchdowns. And all of them for the Colts.

Philly -2.5 over GIANTS: I’d like to think Philly would keep the momentum going after last week’s murder of Detroit. Like to. With these guys you never know, though. They could just as well suck. I’ll put my faith into them for now.

New England -7.5 over CINCY: Pats on Monday night, baby. Can’t wait.

Last Week’s Record with the spread: 9-5-2

Overall: 25-17-6

Well, time to go to work; it was nice chatting.

Until Next Time,



Still on Hiatus: Just Writing Some Football Picks

Picks with the spread for Week 3 (for anyone wondering….I have not read Bill Simmons this week.):

Home team in caps

Indy -6 over HOUSTON: This one’s bugging me. Its one of those games that features the following: one team that you hate to bet against because they’re good, but another team that has covered twice and has a good vibe about them. I’ve picked Houston twice and they’re covered each time. But with Andre Johnson out (last I heard), I can’t go with Houston. That being said….I think they’ll keep covering for awhile despite disrepect.

GREEN BAY +5.5 over San Diego: Another game that scares me. San Diego, talented as they are, looks weak. It may be because they have a coach who is known to be sort of weak (Norv Turner). That being said….any team with this much talent, with this much anger pent up (they’ve lost two straight), will end up killing someone. The team they are playing happens to be Green Bay, who just like Houston, continues to cover and be underrated. Now, San Diego played better teams the last two weeks (Chicago and New England), and I know San Diego’s time to unleash is here…..but I just don’t feel right picking against Green Bay.

Minnesota +3 over KANSAS CITY: The only reasons, in my opinion, that Kansas City is favored: 1) Tavaris Jackson is doubtful (groin); 2) The Chiefs are playing at home, which happens to be Arrowhead Stadium, by most accounts the most difficult stadium to visit and play in. But frankly: The Chiefs just suck too bad. I don’t care who the Vikings quarterback is, or where they’re playing: there’s no way the Viks should lose this game, let alone by more than 3 points.

Detroit +6 over PHILLY: Detroit is just one of those teams that I really like this year: they play well. And Philly is a team I don’t like: I don’t get a good vibe at all. Despite the fact that they’re on the road, I see Detroit covering.

NEW ENGLAND -16.5 over Buffalo: I just want everyone to know: I will always be totally, unbelievably irrational when picking the Pats.

JETS -3 over Miami: Two fairly lousy, fairly boring teams. I think the Jets are better, so I think they pull this one out.

PITTSBURGH -9.5 over San Fran: Something that no one seems to be talking about: Pittsburgh seems pretty good. Good enough to consistly cover despite being 10 point favorites.

Zona +7.5 over BALTIMORE: I don’t trust Baltimore with a -7.5 point spread: I don’t care who they’re playing, or where they’re playing, I don’t trust them.

TAMPA BAY -3.5 over St. Louis: Its time to admit two things: Tampa Bay is better than we thought, and St. Louis is not as good as we thought.

DENVER -3 over Jacksonville: This spread seems perfect. I like Denver just this much more than Jacksonville.

SEATTLE -3 over Cincy: Two teams that I don’t like to put much faith in, atleast at this point in the season. I’ll go with the crowd/weather of Seattle.

OAKLAND -3 over Cleveland: Give me Oakland all day. I don’t care if Cleveland scored 51 points last week….Oakland has a defense.

Carolina -4 over ATLANTA: Umm, Atlanta sucks. I’m predicting a 6 touchdown game for Steve Smith.

Giants +3.5 over WASHINGTON: God, the New York media is ridiculous: the Giants lose two games in a 16 game season, and its a lead story on Sportscenter? Are you kidding me!? What, were the Giants supposed to good? Did I miss something? Why this is national news is beyond me. But while everyone is talking about how much the Giants suck, I’ll take them as 3.5 underdogs to the Redskins (and hope Plax gets some touchdowns).

CHICAGO -3 over Dallas: Chicago has one of the most ferocious defense’s ever…..being held back by a ferociously incompetent/unpredictable quarterback. Rex Grossman is just good enough to hold a starting job as a quarterback in the NFL. The problem: just good enough is never good enough in the NFL. Until the Bears grow some cojones and replace Rex, they will never accomplish anything.

NEW ORLEANS -4 Tennessee: New Orleans has got to wake up at some point: now is as good a time as ever.

Last Week’s Totals with the Spread: 10-4-2

Year’s Total with the Spread: 16-12-4

Until Next Time,


Taking a Break; Going on Hiatus


I’m just letting you know that this blog is offiicially on Hiatus for a bit. For the last two months or so I feel that the quality of what I have been writing has fallen way, way down. I think part of this may be the fact that I am much more busy at work now, and am tired more often and don’t have time to think out what I am writing. I put a lot of pressure on myself to write something every week, even if its rushed and not that good. I think I’m going to stop doing this, because I don’t like what I write to be mediocre. In the meantime, I will continue to write some football related stuff, which is more like a diary for me: its really just me talking to myself, which is something I do on the regular anyway (when no one’ s around). I will also update my page while not writing, and hopefully get a picture on my avatar that makes me look really cool.

Ofcourse, I only have 4 diehard readers that I know of, and maybe twenty casual readers, and a lot of randoms who come through google and whatnot, so I’m not sure who’s reading this. But whoever you are, now you know. If you check in once in awhile, I may post some funny videos, ect…but for now, I’ve gotta take a break from trying to consistently trying to write on here.

But before I go, a joke I heard recently:

A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphault under his arm.

“Hi,” he tells the bartender.

“I’ll have two: one for me and one for the road.”

That’s it.

Anyway, I hope you stop by again some time: like I said, this is only a break, I will be writing on here again. As you can probably tell, I love to write, so to quote a movie sometime that I can’t remember now, “This ain’t the end, baby. It’s only the beginning.”

So I’ll see ya around.

Until Next Time,


Fact of the Day

Did you know that the man who invented Atari…..also invented Chuck E. Cheese’s?  It’s true.  Here’s what I wrote a couple weeks ago.

Do you know who Nolan Bushnell is? Well, you should. In the 1970s, he, along with a few choice individuals, single-handedly started the home video game culture that we know today by creating the Atari gaming system. But this isn’t the half of it. Bushnell is credited with having started over 200 companies, and one of his more successful start-ups was none other than Chuck E. Cheese’s. Which means that the man who created Atari, ten years later created Chuck E. Cheese’s.

I can’t decide if this makes all the sense in the world, or none at all.  (Learned while watching a Modern Marvels marathon on History Channel a couple months ago).

While we’re here:

My picks last week with the spread: 10-4-2

Year’s total:  16-12-4

Fantasy Record: 1-1, total points 198.01.

I put that stuff there cause I can.

I’ll be talking to ya.

Until Next Time,


Jon Kitna is a Beast

Here are my thoughts on the NFL teams at this point in the season:

Cleveland: Yo Cleveland, why didn’t you tell me you were gonna score 51 points yesterday? That wasn’t cool, bro.

Cinncinati: Hey Bengals, you should have told me you can’t tackle. Really. You suck at tackling.

Indy: Yo Indy, why you always fronting against the Titans? What’s up wit dat?

Tenn: Steve McNair: I believe in you.

San Fran: Hey San Fran: You doin work, Son.

St. Louis: Marc Bulger….keep gettin me points, kiiiiiiiid.

Green Bay: Yah dawg…..steppin up in the world.

New York Football Giants: Just do me two things: get me touchdowns from Plax, and leave Eli in so he can throw to him. I don’t care if you suck on defense, if you suck on special teams, if you suck in general. Just keep giving Plax touchdowns. And for God’s sake, leave that fat sack of butter Lorenzen on the bench. Thanks (P.S. You Suck).

Buffalo: The only serious thing I’ll write this morning: Congrats on Everett. Everything sounds very promising.

Pittsburgh: I hate your old school unis.

New Orleans: Thanks for not showing up Saints. No really…..thank you.

Tampa Bay: New pick up for Mr. Thing (Fantasy Team) on Monday morning: Jeff Garcia. For all you Jeff Garcia haters out there (and you know who you are), suck it. No really…..suck it.

Houston: Houston, you are keeping me alive. No, seriously…..keep covering.


Hotlanta: I didn’t watch the game. I have no comment.

Jacksonville: Dear Jacksonville,

I hate you. You have been the strangest, most underacheiving team in the league four the last four years. You play poorly when you should play well, and when you should stink, you kick ass. Until you stop playing like a scizophrenic asshole, I will not trust you.



Minnesota: Ohh, Adrian Peterson: Why didn’t I draft you? Why did I not believe in you? I’m living with DeAngelo Williams right now, and no matter what I tell him, he only runs for 60 yds and no tds. He’ll come around in time, but Adrian…..what was I thinking?


Dallas: I did not watch your game. If I flicked to your station, I immediately changed it.

Miami: I did not watch your game. If I flicked to your station, I immediately changed it.

Seattle: Do you want to win games, or lose games? Do you play to win games, or lose games? I think you play to lose games; maybe someone else feels differently.

Arizona: Matt Leinhart: Why don’t I like you? I don’t understand. Is it because you’re friends with Nick Lachey? I don’t know……but I don’t like you.


Chicago: Rexy… need to give Bernard Berriam some touchdowns. I’m serious….stop being such a Tool. (Devin Hester……you run it, dawg. You run it).

Oaktown: Janiscowski, you Straight Gansta. I don’t care what people say: You Gansta.

Denver: Mike Shannahan: You call scummy timeouts. Admit it.

Jets: I didn’t watch your game. Sorry.

Baltimore: I didn’t watch your game. Sorry.

San Diego: It must have been the video tapes. No really….that’s why you lost. I’m sure of it. All that cheating. Don’t sweat it….you got freakin murdered cause of all the Pats illegal video taping. Better luck next time, bitches.


Other thoughts:

Why does Sportscenter suck?

Why is O.J. robbing people with guns?

Until Next Time,


Greg’s Lame Diary of Wisdom

Hey, Greg here with a lame diary entry:

Today I made my football picks for this weekend.  I’m pretty pyched!  Can’t wait to see how it turns out  🙂  Last week I went 6-8-2 with the spread, but hey, I’m sure I’ll get better……I’ve just got wet feet!!  😦

My Fantasy Team lost last week 😦   despite the fact that Plaxico Burress had 3 touchdowns.  Go Plax!!  Now Eli has a seperated shoulder, but I’m sure he’ll do alright.  (Fingers Crossed!!!)

This week, I’m playing the Cleveland Steamers :O  Their roster isn’t much to speak of, but those Steamers are Clever!!!

The Boston Herald called Bill Belicheck “Beli-Cheat” yesterday.  Dear Boston Herald:  Shame on you, Sir!!

My softball team lost to a rival last night:  it was a bad loss, I’d call it a “hangover loss” from the night before.

I don’t have many plans for the weekend yet.

I still need to see Super Bad.

I think this may be the worst entry I’ve ever put into this blog.

Okay, Diary…..its time for me to go.  I have more important things to do.  But I will be back to write someday, and we can chat again.

See ya!

Until Next Time,


Football Stuff

Hi, I’m here to write some quick hit football thoughts from the weekend, if you don’t like it, I don’t know what to tell you.  Actually, I do….I’m sorry.

Before I get started, read this: its a lot better than the crap I’m about to write (if you’re easily offended by potty jokes/crude humor, don’t read it).

Well, first off…….how bout that Brittany Spears.   Damn Brit….might wanna take it easy on the downers.  You know, so you look like you’re awake in public…or when you’re singing at the VMAs.  You can watch Brittany’s awful lip-synching performance at MTV’s website, and you can watch Kid Rock trying to fight Tommy Lee over Pamela Anderson.  Damn….looked like I picked the wrong week to quit watching the VMAs.  But whatever……I was watching Plaxico Burress get me three touchdowns and 34 points for my fantasy team (not that I won or anything).

But seriously…..Brittany looked downright confused.  It wasn’t even really enjoyable to watch.

Getting back to Football:  I am so, so, so very glad I didn’t put any money down on Baltimore at -2.5 tonight.  Watching the killer tandem of Steve McNair/Brian Billick made me frustrated out of my mind, and I don’t even like Baltimore.  Gool Lord…..I can’t imagine being a fan of them: it’d be like being a Pats fan back when Pete Carroll was the coach (ohh wait…..)

But the worst part of this game wasn’t the awful play calling by Billick, or the terrible ducks thrown by McNair (he actually did pretty decent for stretches), it was the officiating at the end:  after calling an absolutely AWFUL offensive pass interference, the same ref in essence made a make up call on the very next play, calling a defensive holding (which actually seemed legitimate).  Then, ofcourse,  on the five with first and goal, the Ravens threw a pick on third down.  To tell the truth….this may have been the most terrible game I’ve ever watched.

On a Happier Note:  The Pats won yesterday.  Won big.  Say what you want about Peter King (he’s nerdy, he’s old, he talks about his daughter in his column too much, he talks about coffee too much, he’s old, he’s a total dweeb, I FREAKIN HATE HIS GUTS), but the guy knows his football.  Probably better or as well as anyone out there.  And he hit it right on the nose in his Monday Morning Quarterback column this moring:  the most impressive part of the Pats win yesterday was the work of the offensive time.  My dad often says “The quarterback has time to make a ham sandwich back there,” if he’s given a lot of time.  Well, Brady could have carved a turkey in the backfield yesterday.  It was one of the only times I can remember when I actually got immense pleasure out of watching an offensive line play.  That’s maybe happened 1.5 times in my life.  But it happened yesterday.  My blood was flowing watching that pass protection.

Don’t get me wrong……when I think of Randy Moss’s performance, I get warm inside.  Ditto Ellis Hobbs.  Ditto Brady.  Ditto the defense.  But yesterday belonged to the O-Line….they get the game ball.

Well, its almost time to go.  Mike Mike and Mike are announcing the Arizona/San Fran game, which means I need to leave the room in order to avoid listening to the garbage which flows from Mike Ditka’s mouth (Golic, you’re my boy; Greenie, um, no.)

I’ll see ya’ll around.

Until Next Time,