Attention: This Blog Sucks!!

Hi Everyone,

A long time ago, back in high school, I used to have a class during Second Period that was simply off the hook: Music Appreciation. The teacher was Mrs. Daley, a woman in her forties or fifties who decided to take up teaching high school kids just to see what it was like. Unfortunately for her, she landed the most rowdy bunch of hooligans she could have hoped for.

Day after day, I watched Mrs. Daley struggle. There was no hope: she was in way over her head. Half the kids in her class slept or talked; the other half wreaked havoc. Atleast two classmates from that class are now in jail or have served jail time.

I wasn’t innocent of this behavior by any means, by I always towed the line: I never took it too far. I let everyone else do that. The shining moment in the class came when the ringleader of all the bad behavior showed up with a cane one day after being absent for two weeks: he had broken his hip while running from the cops one night, falling off a 12 foot wall. For two weeks, it was actually kind of quiet. Then, one day he came back with a cane and a smile, and the class roared in applause.

Poor Mrs. Daley!

But the point to this story is what I remember distinctly from one morning: a kid by the name of Vinny was sitting way up front, raising his hand and snapping his fingers. There was a lot of chatter going on, and Poor Mrs. Daley was confused and flabbergasted as usual. She didn’t notice Vinny waving his hand in front of her.

When he couldn’t get her attention, he started doing the whole, “OOOHH, OOOHH, Mrs. Daley?! Mrs. Daley, Mrs. Daley?”

No response. His hand started to wave back and forth rapidly.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Daley?! Mrs. Daley?!”

Finally, she noticed him.

“Yes, Vinny?”

To which he responded: “THIS CLASS SUCKS!!!!”

Half the class was so absorbed in other sorts of bad behavior that it wasn’t even hardly noticed, but I’ll never forget it: it was probably one of the most blatanly insane thing a kid could ever yell at a teacher. I can’t imagine what was going through her mind at the time, or what she did when she went home.

Honestly, I hope she’s doing alright, and if Mrs. Daley is reading this, I’ll take the liberty to apologize for the entire class. HEY, MRS. DALEY, WE’RE ALL VERY SORRY. WE NEVER MEANT TO CAUSE YOU SUCH PAIN AND ANGUISH.

But to get back to my blog: Lately, it has just flat out sucked. I haven’t put any time into it, and this is evident by the decrease in readers that I’ve noticed everyday. I just want you to know…..I’m doing my best.

Anyway, I’ve gotta make this short: I’m supposed to be on the road to Vermont as we speak. There’s a big brewfest tommorrow on Lake Champlain that is straight up, BOMB ASS. But I want to say a few words before I slug two ice coffees and head up I-89.

Blog Groups: So I joined this blog group recently called Boston WebBloggers. It was recommended to me by a friend. Our first meeting was supposed to be on Wednesday night at Algiers in Harvard Square. Granted, I was ten minutes late, but guess this: no one showed up. It wasn’t like, “Ohh, there’s only two people here,” lame. It was like, “I’m all alone, I have no friends,” lame. Because I RSVP’d, I had the chance to review them. I was going to rip them in a comedic way and post the link, but for security reasons I couldn’t show the link. But just so you know…..the Boston Webbloggers group sucks. No one shows up to meetings.

Ofcourse, when I got there, I asked the waitresses if there were any blog groups there. They said the only group they knew of was the Socrates Society: maybe I should try them?

Now, I was fully aware the Socrates Society was not what I was looking for….but for shits and giggles, I figured I’d give it a try.

Over in a dark corner, there was a table with a ‘Reserved’ placard on it. At this table sat three crusty old guys in their fifties or sixties. The crustiest was in the middle of a sentence that was probably going to stretch for about 20 minutes. The other two guys noticed me, but Crusty just kept on spewing a constant stream of philosophical thought gibberish. Since I don’t like standing around and being ignored, I cut him off:

“Exuse Me!”

Crusty, with an annoyed look in his eye, turned his head. His stream of thought had just been shot.

“Hi, I was wondering if you guys are a Webbloggers group?” Saying it out loud, I realized how ridicolous of a question it was.

“Hah! Webbloggers?! No, my good man, we are not the Web, although we once had an intro page that was quickly take down. We Do Not Do Anything on the Web. We Are Certainly Not Web Bloggers, as you say!”

Me: “Ohh.”

One of Crusty’s Buddies: “We discuss philosophy…”

Me: “Ohh.”

We sat there for about one more second, and I was gonna say something along the lines of, “Nice talking to ya,” when Crusty went right back into his babbling madness, turning his back on me. Now, I’m not easily offended….but what a rude prick! I muttered something like, “F**k you, Crusty!” as I walked away. Honestly. I really muttered. That’s usually not my style.

Just so everyone knows my feelings on Philosophy: I think its stupid. Why should listen to what some so-called “Sophicate” had to say about life, 2,000 years ago? What the Hell would Plato know about, say, computers, or cars? Jack shit, that’s what!! And just so everyone knows: just about everything that ever came out of Aristotle’s mouth was horseshit.

I will say that I’m big fan of Socrates: that dude got straight up killed for what he thought, and he was pretty badass, unlike some of his pupils. I think its safe to say I’d hang out with Socrates (and he was probably a whole lot cooler than the losers who belong to the Socrates Society).

But anyway….I’m rambling. Kind of like my old philosophy professor: the guy never got to the damn point! And as for most philosophy readings, I find them much like Cranberry Juice Concentrate (not the Juice or Cocktail, the Syrup): much to dense to be enjoyed, and often responsible for inducing vomiting and/or diaherra. So there you go…..those are my thoughts on Philosophy.

Other thoughts: Toucher and Rich, the afternoon guys on WBCN in Boston, are not just a funny radio show: they may be the funniest radio show in history. With all due respect….they are my role models.

Bill Simmons: As some of you may know, I consider Bill Simmons to be, loosely, my favorite writer, although I don’t read him that much anymore (he doesn’t write as much anymore, anyway). I think there are a lot of people who are on this boat with me: the guy really revolutionized sports writing (with the help of the internet), and in my opinion, helped spawn such sites as Deadspin (which is indispensible in my life at this point….I can’t live without it).

But this latest story about Bill has me scratching my head. He applied for the President position of Red Sox Nation (don’t even get me started on this….Red Sox Nation may be the most moronic group, ever), but really gave a tongue and cheek application. As is usual with Bill, he had to poke a little fun: his victim was a Red Sox color guy Jerry Remy.

Now Remy, who is kind of an old salt, seemed pretty offended, and called Bill out on the air about it during a game. Bill, it would seem, would just apologize, or let the situation go.

Instead, he seems to have lost his mind.

I love Bill and everything…..but this is just going waaaaaay to far. Someone needs to talk to him. With all due respect to one of my favorite writers, and a revolutionary writer on the internet……he’s coming off as a serious jerk here.

Seriously Bill……lay off.

On that note, I’m heading up to Vermont to KICK SOME ASS AND DRINK SOME BEER…..AND WE’RE ALL OUT OF BEER.

Sorry…..had to do it.

Until Next Time,


4 thoughts on “Attention: This Blog Sucks!!

  1. Tom says:

    Greg — you’re still the man.

  2. jay says:

    “Just so everyone knows my feelings on Philosophy: I think its stupid. Why should listen to what some so-called “Sophicate” had to say about life, 2,000 years ago? What the Hell would Plato know about, say, computers, or cars? Jack shit, that’s what!! And just so everyone knows: just about everything that ever came out of Aristotle’s mouth was horseshit.”
    People are still talking about Aristotle’s work 2000 years later. Something tells me at this pace nobody will be talking about your blog ever…
    PS what the hell do you know about computers and cars???

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