An Alligator….or a Crocodile?

Hey,

What’s up peeps,

Sorry I haven’t been around all week. Mah bad. I don’t have much time to write, so I’m gonna get my thoughts on paper computer screen as fast as possible.

Well…it turns: out Alec Baldwin is a jerk: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?! Honestly, I know he issued an apology for the absolutely disgusting voicemail he left his 11 year old daughter, but there’s still only one way for this problem to really be solved: he needs to be punched in the face. Hard. He needs to get the shit kicked out of him. C’mon everybody….join me in crossing your fingers.

Moving on….

I just want to profess my love for the Discovery Channel and what shows I’m watching: Rogue Nature, 8pm and 12am, Friday night and Saturday morning, repectively. Right now I’ve got FutureWeapons on. At 9 on Friday nights Man vs. Wild comes on, which is always fun. But all of these these great shows on Friday night are starting to cause a dilemna: they’re screwing up my Friday nights. I find myself delaying plans with friends so that I can see how Bear is gonna make it through his latest dilemna in the desert. Or take Rogue Nature: this show discusses animals which have been known to act in very dangerous ways to humans: (bears, chimps [my favorite episode], squid [which I missed last night…damn!], and hippos). I mean on Friday night, there’s no way you can really concentrate on what you might be doing later, if you’re watching a bunch of chimps running around and terrorizing people. As of now, I’m dealing with this problem.

[SPOILER ALERT!!! SPOILER ALERT!!! IF ANYONE PLANS ON TAKING THE IQ TEST AT SOME POINT….I GIVE AWAY ANSWERS BELOW.]

IQ Tests=Bullshit

Last night my roomate, who will administering IQ tests in the near future, asked me if I’d be willing to give her a little practice, and take the test. Ofcourse I said yes. I’ve always been a little curious as to what exactly is in an IQ test, and how they grade you. And seeing as these tests usually cost $600 to take ($600!?!?), this was a golden oppurtunity. So I sat down on my couch, put on my smart face, and started answering some questions.

Its sort of set-up like the SATs: two verbal sections, two puzzle sections (I won’t call them math sections, but they were math-like: the analytical side, if you will). The first section asked me to define some vocab words; the second section consisted of me putting together blocks to form certain patterns, while being timed; the third section required me to compare two words (a little tricky); and the fourth consisted of more pattern stuff, just without the blocks.

It goes without saying for those who know me: I did better in the verbal section. After about an hour and a half we were finished, and it was time to get my score. And this is where me and the IQ people started butting heads: they way the score stuff.

Its pretty simple: for every question you answer, you either get 2 points (completely correct), 1 point (partially correct), or zero points (Wrong Answer, Fool!). With the puzzle section, its a little different: your time comes into play, and whether you got it right. But I didn’t have a problem with that section: I thought it was set up pretty well.

I didn’t agree with the strict guidelines as to how the verbal sections were graded, however. They were really picky about certain things: for instance, I was supposed to compare the following: flowers and birds (remember, this is right on the spot: you don’t really have time to think about it). Well, I thought about for a second, and gave the following answer: both use colors to reproduce: flowers use color to attract bees, who carry their pollen away; birds use color to attract mates. Well, according to the IQ people, I answered this wrong: they wanted me to say the following, boring, run-of-the-mill answer: Both are alive. Umm, excuse me for thinking outside of the box. But honestly……the answer I gave is true. In the IQ people’s defense, my roomate wasn’t actually sure about this one….she’s going to check with the them.

But hopefully….you see where I’m coming from. The grand finale question was the following: compare Law and Freedom. Now, this was tough….I was stumped for about 15-20 seconds. I finally came up with this: they are both aspects of society, which are not essential, but are ideal. Well, I got a big SQUADOOSH (0) on this one (props to Tony Reali, aka Stat Boy, from PTI). Why?? Because according to IQ people….these two aspects are essential to society.

Now I see where there coming from…..society sucks without law or freedom. But thats why I made my point to say they are ideal. If you’re actually gonna tell me that has never been a society out there where lawlessness ruled, or where freedom was not shared by everyone (Hi there class…..now repeat after me: slavery. Ready…now everybody…..SLAVERY), then you’re certifiably nuts. Ofcourse, IQ people don’t want to hear that: nope, if you don’t answer the way they want you to…you’re stupid.
But the final straw on the whole IQ thing was this: in the first verbal section, you are given a word, and are asked to define it as best as you can. One of the first words: alligator. Now, I think we all know what an alligator is. I answered that it is a carniverous repile that live in the Southern U.S., in swamp like areas. I also added, just to show-off a little, that you can tell from crocodiles because when their mouths are closed, all you can see is there top row of teeth: with crocs, you can see both.

Suffice to say: I scored a two. But the crazy thing is what my roomate told me after: if I had answered crocodile, I would have been correct. Oh, okay, that sounds right…..except for the fact that its WRONG AND EVERYTHING! Crocodiles and alligators are different animals; different species; they have altogether different DNA. How can you possibly tell me this answer is right??? ITS WRONG! WRONG! THE IQ TEST PEOPLE ARE CHEATING FOR THEIR TEST TAKERS!!!

Maybe I’m getting a little to into this…..but it really, really bugs me that they consider something which is totally wrong to be right, and then when you make an argument which is right, but a little off kilter…you’re wrong. I defined presumptious wrong because I used the word presume in my answer…but how can this be wrong if according to them, an alligator=a crocodile. All in all….its a crock of baloney.

Ofcourse, in their defense, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t make it clear what this test is determining: your mental ability to process things. They’re not looking for arguments, logic, or creative thinking: they’re strictly looking at how your brain works, function, and processes things. So its sort of unfair for me to sit here and rip them. If someone sees an alligator as being a crocodile, I guess they see that as a healthy, functioning brain….although I see it as complete bullshit. Yet….I digress.

In the end, I scored average: right in the middle of the pack. As far as how my brain functions: I guess I’m pretty average guy. That works for me. Thanks IQ TEST…..It was a great a experience!!!!

Well, its almost that time…..when I turn off my computer, and go hang out in the beautiful, beautiful sunshine that is calling me right now (Greg, ohhhhhh Greg……its warm and breezy out…..and the sun is shining.) Ahh Spring….by far, the best season of the year. How you can you not love this??? Seriously, how can you not love it? Spring kicks every other season’s ass…hardcore. But since I need to get outside…..I’m gonna wrap this up.

GET YOUR MUSIC ON!!!

Note: There was orginally a music video here….turns out the guy who posted on Youtube (who posts some great stuff….I’m a subcriber) doesn’t allow his videos to be imbedded…..so sorry about that, the next time, I’ll post something you can view (the video was of Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson…..if you go to Youtube, look him up, and then look for “Ganster of Love.” He wrote the song that was played by Steve Miller….and its a phenomenal performance). Anyway, I’ll be seeing ya.

Until Next Time,

Greg

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