Random Thought #1
I’ve never understood the term “Shit-Eating Grin.”
If someone was to eat shit, wouldn’t they frown??
-Random Thought
Conversations at a Library (Things to Come??)
They sat at the corner table in the back of the library; a few open magazines and newspapers lay in front of them. John tapped his open notebook idly.
“See that guy over there?”
“Who?”
“That guy with the brown hair, white t-shirt and shorts? Kind of a goofy….”
“Ohh, yah, I know that guy. I mean, I don’t really know him, but he says what up when I see him.”
“Well, he used to write in a blog, like all the time, and he he had a following of three or four readers. He’d come home sometimes, eat dinner, and immediately start writing. It was good shit.”
“Ohh, yah, I think I remember that….”
“Yah, well, for awhile he stopped writing, cause he got caught up with some bullshit, you know? Mainly, though, he didn’t have internet at his apartment.”
He paused; his pocket was vibrating.
“Hold on bro, I’m getting a text.” He stared at the luminesent screen, and typed unknown words into the phone. On another phone somewhere, someone received a form of communication. Message Sent.
“So, what, happened? You were saying?”
“Ohh, yah. Well, dude got the internet back. He’s kinda pumped, cause he thinks he might start writing again. Not every night, you know, but maybe like twice a week.”
“Ohh, man, that’d be f**king sweet!”
A couple heads turned, and few shhs echoed through the aisles. They guy with the brown hair they were talking about looked up, a little annoyed: he was reading a good book, dammit!
“Well that’s good shit; it always sucks when bloggers lose interest, get girlfriends, start doing stuff, ect…..anything that keeps them from writing.”
“Yah, I even talked with him for a few minutes: he watched the first half of the Giants game last night, and though he hasn’t talked about the dreaded Super Bowl all summer, all he could thinking while watching the season opener was: how in the Hell did the Pats lose to NY? How?? But maybe this season will bring closure; he certainly hopes it will!”
Suddenly, John slammed his notebook shut. He picked up his magazines.
“Dude, I’m out of here, now’s not the time to talk about this. I gotta go to work.”
“Alright, dude, well thanks for the update.”
“Yah, no problem man. What are you doin later?”
“Me and Wendy are going bowling. After that….whatever.”
“Alright, cool man, well look, I’ll give you a call.”
“Alright. Later.”
Walking out of the library, John stopped by to talk to the dude with brown hair at the table for a couple minutes. After shooting the shit, he bounced.
—
Whazup Wit Olympics!?
Yo,
Well, I gotta make this quick, cause as usual, I ain’t got no time:
Hopefully, ya’ll been watching the Olympics the last few weeks: its good clean fun to partake in.
Here are some random thoughts, whatevers:
To all the Michael Phelps Haters: Stop it. No, really, you sound pathetic, just stop it. Yes, Michael Phelps is undoubtably a dick. Yes, he undoubtably bangs more super models than he should be. Yes, his ears flap in the wind.
But if you sit there, like so many young males (you don’t hear females hating), talking about how Phelps is “such a loser, ohh, I hate that guy, he’s not even a good athlete, he’s a dweeb who spent his whole childhood in a pool,” ect, ect, if you are in fact THAT GUY: Stop it. Really. Just Stop It.
This Goes Out to My Main Man, USAIN BOLT!:
Now, I know: we all cheer for our respective countries. Its natural. And it makes us feel good, almost in an animal sense, when our country kicks ass in something, or for a smaller country, grabs one single GOLD.
But I can’t help myself: USAIN BOLT IS THE MAN!
Seriously: does anyone else in this games have even close to the amount of charisma this guy has? He’s the man: I can say without a doubt that I would love to hang out with Usain Bolt.
Ofcourse, because he’s kind of a “bad boy, show-boater”, everyone’s coming down on him as being a jerk. The IOC is probably pissed about his antics.
For God’s Sake People: Lighten Up! I know, I know, its proper for athletes to be “cold and silent” in their moments before a race, as they bend down to give it their absolute all: but its such a breath of fresh air to see a smart ass running around having fun, and also kicking ass.
YAH BOLT!
MY FAVES 
) :0 XOXXOXOXO
Faves: Watching the US Hoops team DESTROY bitches. WHAT UP WORLD. WHO U BE?!
Faves: Watching weird sports I wouldn’t usually, like fencing. Too bad the damn French won!
Faves: Watching Men’s Gymnastics. Before you call me gay, remember that these guys are some of the strongest, most flexible guys in the universe. If you watch World’s Strong Man Competition, change the channel dude! These guys are the most impressive strength orientated athletes in the world. Period.
As someone who has worked out on and off for about 8 years now, I truly appreciate their strength. I absolutely love watching the Pummel Horse, Rings, Parallell Bars, Floor Exercise, whatever. And then the High Bar, for pure acrobatics, is insane.
Faves: Watching events I used to do in track, like the 400. Damn, dude: I ran a 59 flat. You ran a 43.13. I think I’ll go to bed now. But seriously…..it puts it into perspective when you can relate.
Faves: Seeing old Boston radio host Bob Newmire (Newmie!) interview athletes at the track right after their race.
Not Fave: When Newmie’s a dick to the athletes (c’mon Newmie!).
Ten Things I Think I Hate (Hate’s a Strong Word, so these are things that I kinda like, but I secretly Hate).
I Think I Hate Peter King (I hate you….yet I read you).
I Think I Hate Girls Gymanstics: I kinda enjoy it (not as much as the men’s). But I kind of hate it, for a few reasons:
All Olympic Sports are kinda like this, but with gymastics, you these girls have ABSOLUTELY no life. No childhood. No boyfriends. No nights stumbling home from a kegger.
Nope, these girls get to hang out with their Dad 24-7 and practice uneven bars (atleast Nastia)……
But beyond that…..they don’t look right. The young ones look fine, but I saw a 30 year old woman from Germany that looked like a little boy. She won a medal…..but was it worth it, to transform your body into a little boy’s?
Again, I’m torn…..they are incredible athletes, doing incredible things. I just hope its what they really want to be doing.
I Think I Hate: The Bejing Olmpic atmosphere. China’s really gone out on a limb to host these, and everything seems to be going great, but what happens after its over in a few days. I heard that thousands of people lost their homes to have the Birds Nest, ect, built.
Are we really supporting a good thing here?
Things I Freakin Hate!:
The Protesters: Now look: I’m all about the whole protest thing, if its a good cause. And while I’m a little uninformed, the Free Tibet protest seems legit.
But when I hear about people continually getting arrested, detained, whatever, and then I hear them bitch about when they get home, I can’t help but laugh.
Dude, are you serious? You’re protesting in Freaking China! They block off half of the damn internet from their own citizens! Dumbass!
And I love how their all self-righteous and shit.
“I signed up for a protest permit, and then the Chinese Police came, and they put me in a prison. How Dare They! They acted like they didn’t even know my rights! It’s called Amnesty International, Bro!
Then they tased my scrotum, fed me dog piss, and caned my ass! They are so gonna cringe when they hear from my lawyer!”
But the silliest part is how these dirtbag Phish heads (Yes, I like Phish. Yes, I shower.) think they’re saving the damn world with some frivolous protest. Like, how much does a plane ticket to China cost? That’s a lot of money to go somewhere with a “Free Tibet” and throw a sing-a-long. Hey Asshole, you could have used that money to send the Dalai Lama supplies or something.
Anyway, I’m out. I hope this doesn’t sound to damn angry.
Peace and Chicken Grease.
Till Next Time,
Greg
I Cry For Batman
Hey…..I’m back.
Its tough to write when you don’t have the time; or the internet at your apartment. But there’s a few things I’ve been meaning to get to:
First things first: I hope you’ve been having a nice summer. Mine has been fine, thank you.
Now, on to more important matters:
HEY! I FINALLY SAW DARK KNIGHT!
Sure did. And not only that…..I saw it on Imax. I headed up to the Jordan’s Furniture in Reading on a Friday morning at 10am. A couple notes here: Believe it or not, I was born and raised in New England…..and never set foot into a Jordan’s until last Friday. As a Bostonian/New Englander, I feel like I should lose a little bit of creditbility (spelled wrong) here. I mean, seriously, who didn’t go to M.O.M. back in the ’90s, besides my sheltered ass (I think its funny that I’m saying I was sheltered because I never went to a furniture store). But its true….most Bostonians, and people within 100 miles of the city, have been to Jordan’s at some point.
Anyway, I drove up 95 on a bright Friday morning, pulled off the highway, road about a block, and there it was: glittering in the sun, its windows sparlking like some magic castle, was Jordan’s Furniture. And honestly: it was sort of cool pulling up. I got there at about 9:30, and the parking lot was pretty much empty, cause the store wasn’t open yet. Stepping out of car, I could see the sun popping out over the trees below (Jordan’s is on top of a really big hill, or small mountain, depending on where your from). I hate to say it: standing in the Jordan’s parking lot, no one else around, watching the sun come out: it was kinda cool. Now I’ll re-read that sentence, realize that I was admiring the sun come up from the Jordan’s Furniture parking lot, and re-evaluate my life.
Anyway: I think I was pumped for Batman. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, a couple weeks ago, I met some dude who has the Batman logo tatooed on his shoulder (not joking, folks). It just seems like Batman has swallowed this summer whole, but in a good way. I enjoy the hype, and I wouldn’t even call it that: whatever it is, its been a little more subtle than hype (like, you know our movie is good, come see it….you don’t wanna be the only one to miss it).
For the next 2.5 hours, I was treated to absolute movie heaven. The last time I was in an Imax was at the Omni (Museum of Science), and as cool as the Omni is, most shows are geared for 12 year olds, and no longer than a half hour. As we all sat in the theatre, listening to crappy music and watching the colors change patterns on the blank screen, there was just this buzz about the place: it was great.
The movie itself: well, I’m sure you’ve heard or seen it by now. It was easily one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Its also geared for Imax, so if you can, see it there. A couple notes:
- Well, people weren’t lying: Heath Ledger played an incredible Joker. His character should immediately be immortalized with the most evil movie villains of all-time. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around him: in my opinion, he was slightly more evil than Hannibal Lector, only because Hannibal cooperated with Claurice. The Joker didn’t cooperate with no one: dude was straight Gansta.
You don’t see a performance like this everyday. And yes: the fact that Ledger is now, well, dead, spins the mind infinitely. Very Spellbinding. Although very sad, if only for this: we will never see this marvelous character on the screen again.
-Another note: No way this movie should have been rated PG-13; it was R all the way. There was no nudity, no bad swears (that I remember), and no gore. But just because there is no gore, doesn’t mean there isn’t graphic violence. This was one of the most graphically violent films I’ve ever seen. Its the Texas Chainsaw Massacre effect: despite a lack of gore (because you don’t actually see it happen), the violence is there, and its graphic. For this, I LOVED THE MOVIE. I LOVE BAD ASS, GRAPHIC SHIT. THIS MOVIE WAS F**KING DARK AS HELL, AND NO HOLDS BAR. I WOULDN’T ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE.
I’m just saying…..the studios pulled some strings to get a PG-13 rating. Way to go, fellas.
-I also wanna say: at the very end, as the the movie finally blossomed into the beautifully dark flower that is, I cried a single tear. I held it back; as the lights came on, no one could tell that the random dude by himself with a beard growing in around a mustache had been crying. But it was true: I accidentally let a tear slip by, as I often do.
So, to wrap it up: see The Dark Knight if you like great, great movies, that don’t give a shit what Summer Blockbusters are supposed to be. And if you don’t like these movies: then don’t talk to me.
Until Next Time,
Greg
NetFlix Reviews: Comin At Ya, Kid!!
Wow, it feels refreshing to be back here.
Not just cause I haven’t written in awhile….cause they pimped this place out while I was gone! There’s buttons laying around that I don’t have a goddamned idea how to use! I feel old….like, “Back when I used to blog, in 2006-07, we didn’t have this shit. F**kin kids……..”
Well, not really….but kinda.
Anyway, enough of the bullshit: lets get the ball rolling!
Back in March, I made a monumental discovery: it was right up there with my discoveries that I really loved mustard ( a McDonald’s burger opened my eyes at the age of 5); that Jimi Hendrix was my hero (observed at the ripe old age of 12); and that yoga may be the greatest thing in the world (I stumbled across ‘The Practice’ back in November).
Namely, I discovered that Netflix kicks ass.
Now, it took me much too long to make this discovery: I take advantage of free things, you see, and had been sustaining my undying lust for new films through the public library. And it worked. I saw a fair share of swell flicks for the price of Free.99. But it was unreliable, slow, and most importanly, un-organized.
I made due. But my old roomate would always tell me, “You need to do Netflix! You set up a queue, you can search for movies, its great. We can even be friends!”
Her strongest argument was that “you get really excited when a new movie comes in the mail.”
I abstained. I looked at Netflix like it was some kind of trap that stupid people fall into: Paying for movies….hah……whatta bunch of chumps! Meanwhile, I was getting a random movie from the library every three weeks, and buying stuff at Newbury Comics for 7.99. In essence, I was the chump, and didn’t realize it.
Eventually, I broke down, cause I really wanted to see the Peter Jackson film Dead Alive, and couldn’t find it, and didn’t want to buy it, so I signed up. And it was the best thing I ever did regarding watching movies. Now, my queue is almost 500 movies long (I hit the Can’t Add Any More Movies mark about a month ago).
The point of all this Netflix Friendly Mumbo Jumbo I just spouted for you? Well, I had an idea: after every movie I watch, I write a little review. Not a big one…just a little one. You can write reviews on Netfilx, but thats no fun, because its just Movie Nerds/Snobs/Buffs/Freaks like myself. And those people always wanna one up each other.
“You didn’t enjoy Lost in Translation? Obviously, you’re a Fascist/Communist/Fill in Blank….”
Which is why I wanted to write little reviews right here….and justify my rating system, which has already been called into question by another Movie Nerd/Snob/Buff/Freak like myself (sorry if your reading this [Blank Name]).
I joined back in March: I might review some of the movies I watched since then: but for now, lets start fresh:
Silent Rage, 1982, starring Chuck Norris
My Review: My Goodness! What a movie. I rented this for one reason: Back in 2003, Bill Simmons, a sort of rock star journalist for espn.com, wrote a list of his Top Ten Underrated Movies of All-Time. Now, for those of you in the know, Bill Simmons word is usually gold. Granted, he talks about certain subjects too much from time to time, which has lead to a sort of “I Hate Bill Simmons” following on the web, but honestly, the guy is one of the best writers I have ever read, hands down, and sports blogs such as Deadspin and KSK wouldn’t exist today without him, despite what The Artist Formerly Known as Big Daddy Drew says about him (okay, I’m getting waaaaaaaaaay to obscure with the sports blog talk….sorry).
My point is, when Bill Simmons says something, I generally listen.
So he wrote a little paragraph about Silent Rage that went something like this: Highly underrated, stars Chuck Norris (always good), stars Flounder from Animal House (ummm, ok….even more awesome), and circles around the following plot: A pyscho killer is killed, brought to the hospital, brought back to life by the doctors with life serum (umm, ok), wreaks havoc, and is finally hunted down by, you guessed it, Chuck Norris.
Now, I wasn’t sure what to expect. For the first 40 minutes, it was pretty much just an Awesomely Bad Action movie (which, in my opinion, is right up there with Awesomely Bad Horror Movie. I mean, seriously, Commando is one of my top five favorite movies ever.) But then it changed. It got a little Awesomely Bad Science Fiction (always good…..although most Sci-Fi is already bad, sorry Sci-Fi fans), and then, despite the sub-par acting and script which was obviously written by a drunkard……it got good.
It went from being Bad Action Movie with Chuck Norris to being a really Creepy Scary Movie with a bad guy who was twice as scary looking as Mike Myers. Seriously…this guy was one of the creepiest guys I’ve ever seen. And they had some good old-fashioned Horror Music playing. And since I’m a total wimp, I was jumping, talking to the TV, and moaning like a little bitch while Creepy Guy Who Couldn’t Be Killed systematicallly killed an entire town.
The last ten minutes are beyond epic. The Creepy Guy Who Can’t Be Killed (turns out the bring back to life serum makes you Un-Killable) has a final stand against Sheriff Chuck Norris. As you probably expected, its perhaps the Greatest Ten Minutes of Movie History (by perhaps I mean definitely not, but you get my point).
Anyway, to sum it up: I can see why Bill saw this as being underrated. No one talks about this film, ever, but it is hilariously bad and kinda good at the same. You don’t see that often.
Side-notes:
Fake-Guy Alert!: There is the fakest Al Pacino I have ever seen in the movie. I’m not kidding. Pacino could have sued for having his mannerisms, voice, and beard from Serpico blatantly stolen, if he gave a shit. I couldn’t get over this guy.
HEY FELLAS!!: Good news, boys: if you’re looking for female breasts, we got ‘em here. And all the while….Chuck Norris is involved. I don’t think there was a more captivating part of the movie then the ten-minute “Chuck Norris Making Love to a Hot Woman” sequence. Seriously…..I know the guy slams revolving doors and everything, but I didn’t realize he so damn Suave! And honestly….there’s something cool as a guy to watch Chuck Norris get it on. Then again, maybe Chuck just brings out the gay in me. But to get back to the point….yes, there are breasts. Yes, they are nice. Yes, they appear more than once. And yes, there are more boobs, including a biker chick with tats on her rack.
Final Verdict: If you want to watch a movie that hits three classic genres (Bad Action, Bad Sci-Fi, Legit Scary), includes a Chuck Norris making-love montage, and actually has a cool, dark ending, then check this shit out!
My Rating: 4 Stars
Well, that’s it for me. If I continue to do these, I’m gonna keep em short.
Until Next Time,
Greg
My MySpace Has A Virus
Someone recently informed me that my MySpace page has a virus; she suggested I create a new account.
I think instead of creating a new account, I’ll officially say “Screw MySpace!” (Although I did want to put a cool video up…ohh well).
But seriously….how does one’s MySpace page get infected by a virus? And why does it feel like I have an STD?
Maybe its because the root of all evil is in accepting friends you don’t know…..like Candi and Miss Buttercup. I think its funny to accept total strangers like this as my friends, when in actuality they’re scummy companies trying to sell penis enlargement equipment. Call me weird.
But I guess all my fooling around on MySpace has finally caught up to me….I have contracted the MySpace virus. I feel so dirty.
Not that Facebook’s any better….I’m already getting fake messages from my friends about buying ringtones at so-and-so website. The thing is I’ve behaved myself on Facebook…..I haven’t made friends with girls that look like strippers or Felt Club Boston, for the most part. So I think I should be good.
But I guess thats what happens when you throw a bunch of people into the same “social network” and tell them to go “socialize.” Eventually, some kind of unsanitary disease is going to start to spread.
Then again, we could just blame this breakout on the zombies and werewolves that keep biting people.
Anyway, I’ve gotta run…..my quota for blog typing is up for the day.
Remember…..Practice Safe MySpace!
Greg
ANGER
I AM ON A COMPUTER THAT SUCKS. I FEEL LIKE SMASHING SOMETHING. I JUST WROTE SOME GOOD SHIT AND I WILL NEVER GET IT BACK. IT IS F**KING GONEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
And Justice For All Smells Like Poop.
Some movies just suck.
One of these movies is And Justice For All.
It took two hours of my life last night. It starred Pacino in 1979, along with the guy from Coach, and Uncle Junior from the Sopranos, so it should have been good, but it wasn’t. It was really bad.
I’ll post the only scene worth watching. Wish I could type more about this freakin dud.
]
Greg
A Hot Tune for Your Sweet Ass…
I like music, especially hot tunes. Call me a simpleton (simpleton=a word that should be used more these days), but here’s a video of a hot tune (Joe Simon) being played to a still picture of Cleopatra Jones.
There are some things that need to be appreciated in this world: hot tunes, Cleopatra Jones, cheese & wine are just some these. Enjoy & Appreciate.
Peace Out.
(Note: Atleast one of my friends will probably hate this post. And he knows who he is…..).
]
Until Next Time,
Greg
