Hey There
What’s up,
Hey there, just wanted to talk real quick:
As some of you may know, I now officially have business cards for my blog. I’ve already begun the distribution process. Not sure how many readers I’m gonna get…..but I got 500 cards made, so it may be a lot. I might have to get used to a lot of random peeps looking at my stuff.
Just to let you: I’ve gotta another big project I wanna work on, and post on this here blog…..but I definitely need to collaborate with some people first on the subject matter (hopefully tommorrow), and even then, I’m not sure how I’m gonna format my idea. But somehow, someway, I’ll get it on here.
A note to some of my friends: After I wrote how on my sick day from work I went working out, ect…I was asked why I would post this if I knew co-workers were reading. Well, I’ll be honest….I was sick, and if I stayed in my apartment, I would have stayed sick. I need to get out there and sweat my sick off. And quite frankly, that’s what I did. I feel like a hundred bucks right now.
For those of you who have my cards, you know I have a couple other blogs: both highly undeveloped. I did, however, post my first post on one of them: getatmeblawg.blogspot.com. If you’re not into bathroom humor, you may not want to check it out: its a little more juvenile than what I write here. Honestly…..I’m still trying to figure out what to use it for.
Anyways…..I pretty much just wanted to let you know that I do have a little something in the works for this site right now, and hopefully I’ll post it tommorrow. I didn’t want you to think I was slacking. For now….I’m out like a lightbulb.
Until Next Time,
Greg
Seasoned Potatoes
“It is not worth remembering that past which cannot become a present.”
-Soren Kierkegaard
Hey there,
I just want to post a couple things before I go out to do some things:
I was requested to write about a party I attended this weekend; the result was the last entry I posted. I didn’t think it came out that great, mainly because I got too sidetracked, and absolutely needed fresh air, peace, and quiet. By the time I was back in front of a computer screen, I was pretty burned out. My friend who made the request posted a comment: “All pototas no meat.” Which I have to say…I agree with. Well put. (I was surprised that I had the choice to disregard this, because I guess WordPress recognized that it was speaking negatively of me….there you go WordPress, way to stick up for your bloggers.)
Anyway, I have some more potatoes for you tonight, because once again I’m off to do incredibly fun things that don’t involve sitting in front of a computer. But before I go, I’ll try to put enough garlic, mustard, rosemary, Tabasco, Mrs. Dash, and whatever else there on ‘em say that they atleast resemble spicy homefries that your mom makes for you.
I took my first sick day today…just thought you might want to know. And yes, I was sick.
While trying not to make this a lame ass diary, I’ll tell you what I did: went to the gym; did some running outside; got my first haircut since Feb.; and ate a chicken parm at Victor’s in Ball Square, Somerville (I’d post a link, but there’s not much about Victor’s online. Which is good in a way; keep it old school. But I will say this: if you live anywhere near Ball Square [like within 10 miles], make sure you go to Victor’s. I’m serious. If you’re really hungry, get the Chicken a la Rosa or stuffed green pepper; the chicken parm is phenomenal. Someday I might blog about who has the best chicken parm in the Medford/Somerville area [Victor’s, Bob’s, Avelino’s, La Cascia’s (never tried….I assume they have one), but I’m afraid if I did, I’d either kill myself out of sheer grief for having to pick a winner, or I’d get killed by some insane diehard who didn’t like my decision [like a diehard Bob’s fan who read my blog and decided to kill me because I said Victor’s was better. All that being said…..I’m not gonna try to tackle this problem anytime soon.)
Speaking about Italian food: If you live in Allston, and haven’t been, you should go to Carlo’s. In fact, I’m not even gonna say anything else. I don’t want to blow it up. Forget I said anything.
Random fact about today: I didn’t look at a computer screen until about 6pm. I think this is good.
Random fact about tommorrow: In 1564, Baby Shakespeare was christened, though it wasn’t his birthday.
Random fact about yesterday: The first regular newspaper in the United States was published. It was the News-Letter, printed in Boston, Massachusetts. The year: 1704.
Random fact about Random: There are ways to measure randomness in a binary sequence. Word.
Alright kids….out of the pool! Its time to go! I told you all I had was potatoes tonight….I hope you liked them. If not…you’ll just have to wait until breakfast. I myself…have places I need to be. Take her easy, hoss!
Until Next Time,
Greg
Let’s Party Dude!!!
Quote of the Day, 4/23/07:
“Hear no evil, speak no evil…..and you’ll never be invited to a party.”
Oscar Wilde
Hi there….I think I’m gonna start up the quote of the day thing again….don’t know why I stopped in the first place, maybe I just got a little burned out finding quotes everytime I wanted to write something. But for now…its back.
I just want everyone to know…..I just erased a HUGE entry I had spent about two hours on about the whole Imus saga about a week ago…..even if it is pointless at this point, it always pains me to delete something I spent a lot of time on. As the old saying goes: DAMN!
Before I get started….I bought the Sports Illstrated Swimsuit Issue about two months back. I know, I know….it stopped being cool to buy this like 3 years ago. But I don’t know…..I think that makes it kind of cool. Its how I heard someone describe going to Times Square on New Years Eve recently…..its so uncool, that its actually cool again. You know what I’m saying. Anyway, this years main theme was music (and iPods$$), and each model was supposed to pick what was “at the top of their playlist.” Ofcourse, they only had five songs to choose from.
For example: model Bar Refaeli, from Tel Aviv, Israel, has the following songs at the top of her playlist:
“Man in the Mirror,” Michael Jackson
“Michel,” Anuk
“She Talks to Angels,” Black Crows
“Your Song,” Elton John
“Patience,” Guns ‘N’ Roses
(Honestly…..not a bad list.)
Well, I have over 4,000 songs on my iPod, but I still figured I’d give it a go. So without further ado,
At the top of Greg’s playlist:
1) “Prophecies,” Philip Glass, Koyaanisqatsi
2) “Ex-Cowboy,” Mogwai, Come on Die Young
3) “Life is a Pigsty,” Morrissey, Ringleader of the Tormentors
4) “E Preciso Perdoar (One Must Forgive),” Grover Washington, Jr., All My Tomorrows
5) “Little Man,” Atmosphere, You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having
There you have it….that’s what I’m listening to on my iPod.
Now….the purpose for being here….
Long story short….my friend had a party this weekend (it was his and another friend of mine’s birthday), and he emailed me at midnight last night to tell me he wanted me to blog about it. He told me he wanted it to be introspective and juicy.
Well, I’ll be honest….I thought it was a pretty horrible idea when I first heard it mentioned to me. There were no INSANE HAPPENINGS that sometimes occur at parties; it was pretty run-0f-the-mill. But, to be honest again….I’ve felt a little un-inspired lately, and have had trouble with coming up with good ideas/topics to write about. So after thinking about it I thought, “Hey….why not?”
So here it is folks: my first party piece. I’ll try to re-cap the night as best as I can.
The Day of the Party: Saturday, 4/21/07:
10:25am: Sunlight through venetian blinds. Sheets. Pillows. In short: my bedroom. I rolled over and saw my clock: 10:37 (my clock is twelve minutes fast). First thought of the day: Holy crap, I slept till 10:25.
I usually don’t sleep this late….and when the sunshine is pouring in your window, and you’re still groggy with dreams and whatnot, I always end up feeling a little jealous of everyone who’s already outside, enjoying the sunshine. In fact…I kind of feel like a loser in these situations. But whatever.
I was just in time for the Soup, my favorite TV show (its a half-hour show hosted by Joel McHale on E! that pretty much goes over the funniest moments from TV/celebrity gossip from the previous week). Since I was a little groggy I missed the opening minute, which means I missed what they had to say about the whole “Alec Baldwin being an asshole” situation…..but it was still a fantastic way to start the day.
Moving out to the kitchen I cooked a bagel while thinking about the night before: The night started on the T, heading towards the Back Bay stop on the Orange Line. You see, I was meeting a couple friends at a place called 28 Degrees in the South End, and wasn’t really sure how to get there. Instead of being smart and checking Google Maps before I left….I was stupid and left knowing only what T stop I was going to (Back Bay) and the street it was on (Appleton). Well, I got to Back Bay….and for the life of me, couldn’t find Appleton Street, or the South End for that matter (funny, I always get myself into these situations). [Note to those not from Boston: the South End is not South Boston, aka Southie, popularly known as a major home for Irish organized crime (and actually an area becoming somewhat gentrified today). Nope, I wasn't partying in Southie....atleast that night.....if you know what I mean.]
Anyway, after looking for Appleton Street for like 20 minutes, I decided to check with the nice people at the Park Plaza Hotel (home of the Class of 2000 Somerville High School Senior Prom…..Go Highlanders!!!!). Anyway, I strolled in with my nice khakis, and nice shirt tucked in; I was going to classy bar, you see, so I had to look classy. After strolling around the lobby for a couple minutes, I meandered up to the front desk.
“Hi, how may I help you?” asked the forty-something year old woman behind the desk.
“Hey,” I started. “I have a question. I have to meet friends at a bar, and I actually can’t find it….do you think you could help?”
“Yah, no problem….what’s the place.”
Well, without skipping details…..I told her my situation. She told me jokingly I was supposed to figure this out on my computer beforehand. I laughed. She laughed. We both laughed. She called them…..found out where they were….blah blah blah. The only problem: she couldn’t tell me where it was after talking to them, or looking at a map.
Suddenly, she had an idea: “Wait, I’ll just get the valet to take you over there!”
Whoa…timeout. Think fast Greg….this is getting heavy.
“Umm…no that’s alright, really, I’ll find it….no problem.”
“It’s not a problem.”
Stupid laugh, shoulder shrug: “Nah, ahh, really, its alright.”
“Well go ask those guys….they know where everything is.”
Well, I found them….him, actually. It was kid who was probably sixteen.
His answer: “Yah, I don’t know!”
My last hope were the numerous, highly jacked bouncers standing outside of Whiskeys.
“Hey fellas, I gotta question….do you know where 28 Degrees is?”
The woman at the desk had to told me that it was located between Arlington and Berkeley Streets, so thats what I told the bouncers.
“Nah dude, someone’s f**king with ya…there’s nothing there but houses.”
Anyway……long story short (I ramble sometimes….can ya tell?)……I found a taxi, he of course knew where it was, I got inside, ordered a drink (“Vodka tonic please.” “No problem….that’ll be $11.50.” My voice: “Thanks.” My brain: “Complete shutdown….I will not operate correctly after you have paid $11.50 for a drink. You are a complete jack ass and do not deserve me. Goodbye.”), pushed myself through some of the trendiest people I’ve ever seen (I couldn’t hear the conversations through the constantly playing, always the same but slightly different beat, but here’s how I bet it would play out: “Hi, I’m a professor, write books, make a lot of money, and only drink Vodka that comes from the highest moutains of Poland. Would you like to have sex with me?”), and eventually found my two buddies hanging out by themselves. Well, we hung out by ourselves for about another half an hour, talking about how much fun other bars were….and decided to go to one of the bars we were talking about: Ladies and Gentleman, Introducing……………………THE WORLD FAMOUS HONG KONG!!!!!! LOCATED IN HARVARD SQUARE!!!!!!
After arriving via a taxi driven by some dude speaking angerily into his phone in Haitian the whole time, we finally arrived where the real party was. It was a typical night at the Kong: lots and lots of drunk people, with a constant smell of puke permeating through the air. My grade on the fun level: a 20 outa 10, baby. 28 Degrees fun level: negative 5,000. Hey 28 Degrees, guess what….you suck.
Eventually, we ate Chinese food with some dude who we never met before, who insisted on eating with us, even calling for a table for four. He was a Harvard Business School student at orientation. To say the least….it was interesting.
And so, to get back to Saturday morning, about 11:01……this is what I was thinking about.
But I had other stuff on my mind, namely:
1) I hadn’t blogged in a few days, and was afraid that people were getting anzty
2) I had softball practice at 2
3) I had a party to attend at 4 (the aforementioned party).
So I immediatley started blogging, despite the gorgeous weather…..finished, edited, published…..ate food quickly…..grabbed my softball stuff…..grabbed good clothes for the party….and was out the door into the beautiful, fantabulous sunshine.
2pm: Softball practice. My team, Lexington Park, has its first game a week from yesterday, so we needed practice (this was the third of the year). There’s really not much to talk about….it went well.
4pm: Party time! I’ve finally arrived at the party that I came here to write about. Let me see if I can do this…..c’mon Greg, focus!!!!!
It started out with a little bump in the road….I had to run back to my apartment in Allston, after all, because while I remembered to pack fresh clothes, I forgot perhaps the most important article….clean undies. So I had to drive back to get them…luckily my boy decided to stick it out with me. The result: we didn’t get there till 6 (Note: It didn’t take two hours; I think my times are skewed here, but its a twenty minute drive both ways [Allston to Somerville], and I grabbed beer, but whatever….you get my drift.)
6pm: We arrive at the party to eat some BBQ, drink some beer, and kick some ass (well, actually….no ass kicking was allowed. Which is quite a shame…..cause I can quick quite an ass). Anyway, the party rolled along, and next thing you know….its
8pm: Yes….the time flies when you’re having fun. By this time, the beer pong was in full effect in the attic…I have to say, my team lost, but I didn’t do too shabby (I always surprise myself with beer pong….I either think I’m gonna do well and stink up the joint, or think I’m gonna stink up the joint and do great). And you know what…..time out.
I’m at work right now and its 7pm. That’s right folks….7. I shouldn’t be here. I just went to go the bathroom, and I wanted to shout at everybody, “I’m working on my blog, I’M NOT WORKING!! I’M NOT A WORKALCHOLIC!!! So I am as of now putting this party on hold. But I’ll be back….hopefully in a good mood.
[The problem with me leaving right now: I'M FEELING IT. But I can't be here anymore. Greg need fresh air....NOW. So I'll see you kids in a little.]
Hallo Everybody……I’M BACK!!!
Whew…..had to get that out of my system. I just walked around the Charles River for about 2.5 hours on one of the most beautiful nights I have ever seen. Simply Gorgegous. Its a good thing I left the office….I really started to get paranoid. I started to get the feeling that all the computers were whispering things like, “Stay a little longer Greg……soon you’ll be one of US. Needless to say, I needed the fresh air. And ladies and gents….I’m glad to be back. Anyway….back to busines.
Like I was saying, we started playing beer pong around 8, and though I was feeling it, we lost (I need to give credit where credit is due…..my teamate was none other than the world famous Dave Boll). About this time someone had the fantastic idea to get a game of flip-cup started. The only problem: flip cup can be a messy, messy game, and my boy Jay, who was having the party, wasn’t having none of that! (Can’t blame him really….he sleeps about 20 feet from his beer pong table).
After an alchohol adled, highly stupid attempt to move the table downstairs, we all thought better of it (or atleast I did…no sense in being a hero). Outside, the older folks were drinking margeritas and having a general good time. Being the GREAT GUY THAT I AM, I offered to do dishes so I could show everyone how much I cared so that we could play flip-cup on the table.
Of course, the beer pongers took over, and much to my dismay, we never did get to play….even though I set up like 30 cups. As the night quieted down, I received the best Chinese massage of my life, leaving my entire body feeling like a giant jacuzzi. (Note: Chinese massages are no joke). We also did a little gambling on the side, and I lost 6 bucks.
Finally, the show rolled down. Peeps started to leave. It was a good time, from start to finish. At about 2am, after eating a final burger, I finally decided that it was time to go. Wishing Jay a happy birthday, I left his house: looking up to the sky, the moon was shining down, and he seemed to be laughing. As we all know….the Moon likes to laugh.
Until Next Time,
Greg
An Alligator….or a Crocodile?
Hey,
What’s up peeps,
Sorry I haven’t been around all week. Mah bad. I don’t have much time to write, so I’m gonna get my thoughts on paper computer screen as fast as possible.
Well…it turns: out Alec Baldwin is a jerk: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?! Honestly, I know he issued an apology for the absolutely disgusting voicemail he left his 11 year old daughter, but there’s still only one way for this problem to really be solved: he needs to be punched in the face. Hard. He needs to get the shit kicked out of him. C’mon everybody….join me in crossing your fingers.
Moving on….
I just want to profess my love for the Discovery Channel and what shows I’m watching: Rogue Nature, 8pm and 12am, Friday night and Saturday morning, repectively. Right now I’ve got FutureWeapons on. At 9 on Friday nights Man vs. Wild comes on, which is always fun. But all of these these great shows on Friday night are starting to cause a dilemna: they’re screwing up my Friday nights. I find myself delaying plans with friends so that I can see how Bear is gonna make it through his latest dilemna in the desert. Or take Rogue Nature: this show discusses animals which have been known to act in very dangerous ways to humans: (bears, chimps [my favorite episode], squid [which I missed last night...damn!], and hippos). I mean on Friday night, there’s no way you can really concentrate on what you might be doing later, if you’re watching a bunch of chimps running around and terrorizing people. As of now, I’m dealing with this problem.
[SPOILER ALERT!!! SPOILER ALERT!!! IF ANYONE PLANS ON TAKING THE IQ TEST AT SOME POINT....I GIVE AWAY ANSWERS BELOW.]
IQ Tests=Bullshit
Last night my roomate, who will administering IQ tests in the near future, asked me if I’d be willing to give her a little practice, and take the test. Ofcourse I said yes. I’ve always been a little curious as to what exactly is in an IQ test, and how they grade you. And seeing as these tests usually cost $600 to take ($600!?!?), this was a golden oppurtunity. So I sat down on my couch, put on my smart face, and started answering some questions.
Its sort of set-up like the SATs: two verbal sections, two puzzle sections (I won’t call them math sections, but they were math-like: the analytical side, if you will). The first section asked me to define some vocab words; the second section consisted of me putting together blocks to form certain patterns, while being timed; the third section required me to compare two words (a little tricky); and the fourth consisted of more pattern stuff, just without the blocks.
It goes without saying for those who know me: I did better in the verbal section. After about an hour and a half we were finished, and it was time to get my score. And this is where me and the IQ people started butting heads: they way the score stuff.
Its pretty simple: for every question you answer, you either get 2 points (completely correct), 1 point (partially correct), or zero points (Wrong Answer, Fool!). With the puzzle section, its a little different: your time comes into play, and whether you got it right. But I didn’t have a problem with that section: I thought it was set up pretty well.
I didn’t agree with the strict guidelines as to how the verbal sections were graded, however. They were really picky about certain things: for instance, I was supposed to compare the following: flowers and birds (remember, this is right on the spot: you don’t really have time to think about it). Well, I thought about for a second, and gave the following answer: both use colors to reproduce: flowers use color to attract bees, who carry their pollen away; birds use color to attract mates. Well, according to the IQ people, I answered this wrong: they wanted me to say the following, boring, run-of-the-mill answer: Both are alive. Umm, excuse me for thinking outside of the box. But honestly……the answer I gave is true. In the IQ people’s defense, my roomate wasn’t actually sure about this one….she’s going to check with the them.
But hopefully….you see where I’m coming from. The grand finale question was the following: compare Law and Freedom. Now, this was tough….I was stumped for about 15-20 seconds. I finally came up with this: they are both aspects of society, which are not essential, but are ideal. Well, I got a big SQUADOOSH (0) on this one (props to Tony Reali, aka Stat Boy, from PTI). Why?? Because according to IQ people….these two aspects are essential to society.
Now I see where there coming from…..society sucks without law or freedom. But thats why I made my point to say they are ideal. If you’re actually gonna tell me that has never been a society out there where lawlessness ruled, or where freedom was not shared by everyone (Hi there class…..now repeat after me: slavery. Ready…now everybody…..SLAVERY), then you’re certifiably nuts. Ofcourse, IQ people don’t want to hear that: nope, if you don’t answer the way they want you to…you’re stupid.
But the final straw on the whole IQ thing was this: in the first verbal section, you are given a word, and are asked to define it as best as you can. One of the first words: alligator. Now, I think we all know what an alligator is. I answered that it is a carniverous repile that live in the Southern U.S., in swamp like areas. I also added, just to show-off a little, that you can tell from crocodiles because when their mouths are closed, all you can see is there top row of teeth: with crocs, you can see both.
Suffice to say: I scored a two. But the crazy thing is what my roomate told me after: if I had answered crocodile, I would have been correct. Oh, okay, that sounds right…..except for the fact that its WRONG AND EVERYTHING! Crocodiles and alligators are different animals; different species; they have altogether different DNA. How can you possibly tell me this answer is right??? ITS WRONG! WRONG! THE IQ TEST PEOPLE ARE CHEATING FOR THEIR TEST TAKERS!!!
Maybe I’m getting a little to into this…..but it really, really bugs me that they consider something which is totally wrong to be right, and then when you make an argument which is right, but a little off kilter…you’re wrong. I defined presumptious wrong because I used the word presume in my answer…but how can this be wrong if according to them, an alligator=a crocodile. All in all….its a crock of baloney.
Ofcourse, in their defense, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t make it clear what this test is determining: your mental ability to process things. They’re not looking for arguments, logic, or creative thinking: they’re strictly looking at how your brain works, function, and processes things. So its sort of unfair for me to sit here and rip them. If someone sees an alligator as being a crocodile, I guess they see that as a healthy, functioning brain….although I see it as complete bullshit. Yet….I digress.
In the end, I scored average: right in the middle of the pack. As far as how my brain functions: I guess I’m pretty average guy. That works for me. Thanks IQ TEST…..It was a great a experience!!!!
Well, its almost that time…..when I turn off my computer, and go hang out in the beautiful, beautiful sunshine that is calling me right now (Greg, ohhhhhh Greg……its warm and breezy out…..and the sun is shining.) Ahh Spring….by far, the best season of the year. How you can you not love this??? Seriously, how can you not love it? Spring kicks every other season’s ass…hardcore. But since I need to get outside…..I’m gonna wrap this up.
GET YOUR MUSIC ON!!!
Note: There was orginally a music video here….turns out the guy who posted on Youtube (who posts some great stuff….I’m a subcriber) doesn’t allow his videos to be imbedded…..so sorry about that, the next time, I’ll post something you can view (the video was of Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson…..if you go to Youtube, look him up, and then look for “Ganster of Love.” He wrote the song that was played by Steve Miller….and its a phenomenal performance). Anyway, I’ll be seeing ya.
Until Next Time,
Greg
A Sad Day
I know I don’t have many readers at this point, but I would like to say my piece:
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the families and students who had to suffer through the hellish scene that took place at Virginia Tech today. Have faith.
Sincerely,
Greg
Coolest Thing I’ve Ever Seen
Hey What’s up Everybody,
This is super short….I was perusing Deadspin and came across this unbelievable video. I know the guy’s probably a loser and took like 5 days making this thing….but honestly, credit must be given where credit is due: he may be THE GREATEST BEER PONG PLAYER OF ALL TIME.
Quite an achievement……that’s something you want to put on your resume.
I’ll be back…gotta run some errands.
Until Next Time,
Greg
Just a link or two
Hey There,
Well, its windy, rainy, and it sounds a little wild outside my window right now….perfect weather for a marathon!!!
Man, its gonna suck tommorrow. Ofcourse, not everyone cares. I mean, I like Howie and everything…but c’mon, man, lighten up….its the Boston Marathon for God’s sake!
Anyway, and just hangin ten right now and wanted to get in some quick thoughts and what not:
First of all, you need to read this article written in the Washington Post: it is absolutely fascinating. It takes awhile to get through (it took me about a half an hour, and I’m a pretty quick reader), but it is definitely worth the time. Someone posted this on their Facebook page; I’ve decided to do the same here on my blog. So when you get the chance: take the time and check it out.
I watched the Sopranos tonight: As is standard for the last 4 years, I sum it up in the following way: “Ehhhhh….it was alright.”
Entourage, however, was much more entertaining, as usual: its like an on-again/off-again relationship that me and Entourage are having these days. Last year, I got so fed up with the show (the fact that I hated [and still dislike] the main character; the fact that it seemed like we were stuck in an endless circle of slightly different scenarios, all featuring the same storyline every week; the fact that in three seasons, nothing ever really happened) that I stopped watching it. Cold turkey. Vince got up to do one of his patented, “You know what Ari….I don’t know if this is what I want,” speeches, and I turned it off. Couldn’t deal with it anymore. Vince had pushed me to the point that I hated the whole damn show. But now…I’m back in love. Its hit or miss I guess….but lately its been snappy. And especially since it follows the Sopranos, which at this point is stuck in the “Ehhhhhh” zone: it gets a chance to shine after a mediocre, boring show every week. So anyway….that’s my take on the “Sunday Night HBO Zone.”
If You’re Driving Through Conn. on a Sunday Afternoon: Check out Power 104.1FM. They’ve got a killer back-spin program going on Sunday afternoon: I was driving through Hartford a couple weeks ago and was in “Back in The Day” heaven for about 25 minutes. Anyway, just wanted to get that out there. And since we’re talking Backspins, I can’t leave without mentioning The Backspin, on the New, Jammin’, 94.5FM. Sunday nights baby….never miss it.
Well…..it’s time for me to think about hitting the hay. Before I go…. I present the coolest cigarette ad I have ever seen: Remember kids….don’t smoke!
Until Next Time,
Greg
A Quick Review: Little Miss Sunshine
Quote of the Day, 4/15/07:
Sonny: “Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outa the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outa the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.”
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: “Just like that?”
Sonny: “Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump and you dump her fast.”
-Sonny, A Bronx Tale, 1993
Some great advice from Sonny, one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite mob movies (although, he’s not my number 1 favorite character, and the movie isn’t my number 1 favorite either). But its good advice all the same: very wise. The real interesting thing: I never would have thought this quote would have been outdated even five years ago, but it is now: most cars with manual locks are atleast ten years old now. Give it another ten years, and this quote will seem like ancient history.
(Its wierd to think that in ten years, someone born ten years ago will be twenty, and probably won’t even remember riding in a car with manul locks: he or she will totally lose the impact of this quote. I’m starting to see why old people hate young people).
Anyway….just wanted to say hi. I’m in the middle of writing something else thats taking me awhile, so I’m taking a break by writing stuff that won’t take as long (note: I didn’t think this would take as long, but two hours later, this sentence seems pretty foolish).
So, here it is: A TWO WEEK OLD MOVIE REVIEW OF LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Okay….I saw Little Miss Sunshine two weeks ago: I wanted to write about it then, but due to an eye infection, lack of time, and other misc. happenings, I haven’t….until now. So let me see if I can wrack my brain enough to write about it.
First of all….I had heard only good things about it…..except from my parents. They didn’t hate it….but didn’t like it that much. This intrigued me….would I like it? Since my dad’s in SAG (long story), he had a free copy of the DVD. So I took bootleg, threw it in my Playstation 2, turned up the volume, turned down the lights, and got some first hand experience with the flick in question.
My Final Verdict: It was a tremendous, tremendous movie. Absolutely one of the best black comedies I have ever seen. The interesting thing is that I knew it would be a little strange, but I never actually heard anyone call it a black comedy. Honestly…I came in without knowing what to expect at all.
First, let me see if I can sum up the general themes of the movie:
The film starts out with six individuals, all drawn together in the same house for the same reason: they are forced to live with one another. They do not neccesarily like one another: they live together only because they are forced to, due to family ties. This is highlighted in the opening scene, when Frank (Steve Carell), is forced to move into the house, solely because he is considered suicidal, and his sister, who lives there, is the only relative he has.
They all sit down to eat dinner, and as they fight with one another, we see even more clearly that this family is more than dysfunctional: it doesn’t function. But there is one thing that holds everyone together: Olive (Abigail Breslin). (Note: One thing my parents didn’t like was how such a big fuss was made about Breslin, and how she was a contender for the Oscar. I agree. I don’t think she should have been a serious contender for the Oscar, although I won’t go into that here). She is the only individual who seems oblivious to all the turmoil around her, and she has one aspiration: to become Miss America.
After making the qualifying cut in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant, it is decided that the entire family must go on the trip. They take a broken down van across the country, and during this trip, discover themselves as individuals and as a family.
Each character has a certain failure which they refuse to come to grips with, and through their trip, each is forced to face it.
Richard (Greg Kinnear), Olive’s father and acting head of the family, cannot come to grips with the fact that his career, essentially, is a total failure, and that everything he teaches and preaches, in essence, is also a failure. By not coming to grips with this, and lying about it, the financial situation of his family is put in jeopardy.
Frank cannot come to grips with the fact that the man he loves doesn’t love him back, and that he lost to better man, who happens to be the in same professional field as himself: because of this, he tried to commit suicide.
Dwanye (Paul Dano), who’s soul ambition is to become a pilot, takes a vow of silence in order to seperate himself from his family. He simply doesn’t know that he has a flaw which prevents him from reaching his life goal: he is color blind. Pilots can’t be color blind. Ultimately, it is a failure in itself to take such a vow without before realizing that the goal is already doomed. (In a way, this could symbolize the blindness of his idea to verbally shut himself off from all around him).
Grandpa (Alan Arkin) can’t come to grips with the fact that he is in the twighlight of his life, and insists on using heroin, instead of treasuring what he has (family).
Interestingly, Sheryl (Toni Collette) doesn’t seem to have any noticable flaws or failures, except that she can’t keep her family together.
Finally, Olive perhaps has the largest failure of all: Although we don’t find out until the end, its invevitable that she will never become Little Miss Sunshine, if only because of the racy performance her Grandpa trained her to perform.
As they travel across the Southwest in a dysfunctional van, each dysfunctional individual confront these failures, leading them to come together as one large, dysfunctional family, which, we find out, is actually functional.
Richard finally meets Stan Grossman, the agent who won’t give him a straight answer, and realizes once and for all that his dream may never come true.
Frank meets his one time lover, who he tried commit suicide over, and also sees from a distance his rival, realizing, also, that his dream will never be realized.
Dwanye realizes that he is color blind, and in so doing, breaks his vow of silence.
Grandpa comes to the ultimate realization: he dies in a drug overdose.
Through all of these realizations, the members of the family come together, depending on one another. When Grandpa died due to his self-realization, they all work together to break him out of the hospital. In essence, their dysfunctionality brings them together: a microcosm of this is the dysfunctional van. Because the van is dysfunctional, and cannot be started unless moving already, they all have to push it from behind and jump in. The first time they do this, they are openly annoyed with having to depend on one another: by the end, they thoroughly enjoy starting the van together as a family. And so, just like the van, their dysfuntional situations brought them together.
Ofcourse, the most important character is Olive: she’s the only one who is truly innocent, and who everyone can bond around. And her ultimate failure, hanging in the balance, approaches as the movie goes on, culiminating in the final scene. As it gets closer, certain characters have their doubts: Dwayne, Frank and Richard all try to stop the performance from going on, for different immediate reasons, but ultimately for the same thing: to protect Olive from seeing her flaws. Ofcourse, every character needs to come face to face with their own failures, so Olive is allowed to perform. And though she fails, she is highly victorious.
Another theme through the movie is a recurring question: who is normal. At the hospital, and later at the beauty pageant, we see behavior from “normal” people which is truly demented. The actions at the hospital are exaggerated for Hollywood’s purpose, but the point is still made: hospitals aren’t always the most caring of places, and sometimes the paper work and silly rules can be downright demented.
In these two situations, and also with the highway policeman who pulls them over, we see situations in which “normal” people come off as the wierdos, when confronted with the “dysfunctional” family. The police officer is perverted; the hospital is evil and uncaring; and the beauty pageant is perhaps the most disturbing setting of all: A place where little girls are made to be into little dolls for everyone to gawk at. At the end of this, by crashing the party and dancing on the stage, the “dysfunctional” family triumphs over the strange and twisted world that it is childrens beauty pageants. By realizing her failings, Olive realizes just how great her life is.
A couple other things about this film: all other things aside, this movie was absolutely, absolutely, absolutely: hilarious. I could not stop laughing. It was easily one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Needs to be mentioned.
If you were really paying attention, you may have noticed a couple of interesting things. For instance, the name of the agent Richard was trying to get in touch with throughout the movie: Stan Grossman. Stan Grossman was sort of a ghost figure: Richard kept calling him, and would always get his voicemail. According to Richard, he and Stan were really close, but as viewers, we sort of got the opposite impression. Eventually, Richard met Grossman, realized his life’s plans were complete garbage, and he left.
The interesting thing is that there is a very similar Stan Grossman in another black comedy from 11 years ago: Fargo. Fargo, ofcourse, is the masterpiece written, directed, and produced by the Coen Brothers team; it is probably their best known film, and also takes place in their home state of Minnesota, which should be mentioned. It tells the demented story of a car salesman who has his wife kidnapped so that he can reap half of the ransom money that is paid to the kidnappers by his father-in-law. Ofcourse, things don’t work out for Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy). Some people are murdered, and through a series of events, one of the darkest, most disturbing storylines in film history is born. But if you recall, there is a motive besides money behind Jerry’s plan: he needs the money to finance a potential real esate project….suggested by Stan Grossman. (Note: I needed to check this just to make sure. While googling Stan Grossman I found out that I was indeed right, and that someone had already noted this in a WordPress blog of their own. Luckily, nothing much was said about it, so I don’t have to worry about being cited for plagiarism. In case you want to look up the reference from Fargo, here’s the script.)
(Note: it was pointed out by a reader that there was an error regarding the Fargo script below. I have since made the changes; the comment at the bottom of this is inferring to this error, which I have since removed. -Greg).
In Fargo, Stan Grossman is the right hand man of, Wade Gustafson (Harve Presnell), his father-in-law, who don’t really like each other. He seems to know a lot about money: when it comes to financial advice, Stan Grossman is the guy to go to. Stan also serves as a mediator between Jerry and Wade: when Jerry asks Wade for a loan on the project, to which his his father-in-law responds, “We’re not a bank!” Although Stan moves in on the same deal with Wade, he always seems to be the level-headed one with common sense.
So how do the two Stan Grossman’s relate? For this, we need to look at the two characters with which they are associated: Richard, and Jerry Lundegaard.
Jerry Lundegaard, the centerpiece of Fargo, is without a doubt in my mind, the most wholly pathetic character in movie history. As one watches Fargo, it is impossible not to be amazed at just how awful of a person he is: and yet, he is not quite assertive enough to be disliked: instead, a sickly sort of sorrow is felt for him. He appears meek and shy, but his real motives revolve around a pathetic need to make money and prove himself to his father-in-law. As only the Coen Brothers could imagine, he approaches two hitmen to kidnap his own wife: through a series of events, his wife, father-in-law, and others are killed: he is eventually caught and arrested in a motel, and even then, makes a pathetic attempt to escape through a window in his boxers despite the bitter cold.
Richard is also a highly flawed, not-very-likable character. The similarities in character, especially in the early part of the movie, are striking. Just like Jerry, Richard is somewhat awkward, and he puts people down in order to prove a point. Perhaps his most un-likable scene is when he tells Olive that she’ll get fat if she eats ice cream (she pursues this situation herself, and has the chance to ask Miss U.S.A. if she eats ice cream: Miss U.S.A. answers with a resounding yes).
Besides these similarities, both characters are manipulative; and both are obsessed with Stan Grossman and what he can do for them. At this point, however, the two characters branch off in different directions.
Richard obsesses over Grossman until he actually meets him: during his conversation with Grossman, he realizes, ultimately, that not only has Grossman failed him, but his whole life has been turned upside down. He returns to his family a changed man: Grossman never comes back into the question.
Jerry also meets Stan Grossman, but has no closure with him. Instead, Stan moves in on the deal with Wade when it becomes apparent that Jerry can’t afford. Jerry, being meek and pathetic, cannot muster the courage to defy Stan Grossman (a large part of this is his fear of his father-in-law). Jerry is manipulated, and from here on the movie becomes increasingly dark: Jerry ends up in prison, Wade ends up dead, and Stan fades away without getting hurt.
It seems to me that this is a way of saying thank you to the Cohen Brothers. Directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris may have considered Richard a re-creation of Jerry: in a subtle way of paying homage, they simply added Stan Grossman to the mix. To show the differences between the two characters, Richard was able to confront Stan, and in the end, it made him a better character. Jerry, however, never could, and so ended the movie being just as pathetic as always.
In a totally seperate incidence, Dayton and Faris film a shot while travelling on the highway: the camera is pointed down at the road, and we see the white dotted lines of the road travelling beneath us. Again, this was a shot utilized by the Coen Brothers: first in their 1986 debut film, Blood Simple; later, and more memorably, in Fargo. In Fargo, the shot was used in the infamous “cop scene”, when the two would be kidnappers are pulled over due to the fact that they didn’t change the dealer plates on their car; this leads to them killing the cop (an absolutely chilling scene), culiminating in them chasing down and killing two passerbys who witnessed them getting rid of the body. As one of the killers chases them down, we see only the dotted white lines of the highway: its sort of a wierd type of tracking shot, when the camera is moving, but it doesn’t look like it.
There is nothing even remotely resembling this scene in Little Miss Sunshine, but it is still a very unique shot, and considering the Stan Grossman parallel, seems like another bit of paying homage. The interesting part: in Little Miss Sunshine, the camera is shooting out the back of the car, showing where they are coming from; in Fargo, the camera is pointed in front of the car, showing where they are going. And so, once again, the similarities are there, but so are the differences.
To sum it all up: I thought Little Miss Sunshine was a tremendous movie, and one of the greatest black comedies of all time, right up there with Pulp Fiction, The Big Lebowsky, and Fargo. So if you haven’t seen it yet….go check it out. (Ofcourse, you probably have….I think I’m one of the last people to see it).
Note: If you’re reading this Jo….hey, sorry I haven’t posted the Imus thing yet…I’m about halfway done, but don’t know if I’ll get to it. I’ll probably finish it after everyone has ceased to care at all about Don Imus and that whole situation….but hey, thanks for checking this out anyway.
I’ll be back later.
Until Next Time,
Greg
Happy Friday the 13th!!!
Hey there sexypants,
-Problem last night: Plenty of time, but I couldn’t write…..shiiiiiit.
Problem today: Wanna write, five minutes left on my lunch break……shiiiiiit.
Oh well….anyhow…..here’s a preview of what I want to write about after I get out of work:
The whole Don Imus saga…..because now its gotten kinda interesting, and like 2,365,419 other bloggers out there, I feel the need to write about this matter.
Blog news update: Did you hear Katie Couric’s blog, which features blogs from ghost writers, is being cited for plagieriusm (spelled way, waaaay wrong). Poor Katie….life’s hurtin for her these days. I’d post a link, but I’m down to four minutes till work time.
Little Miss Sunshine…..saw two weeks ago, haven’t written about it, but I plan on it. Hopefully it hasn’t faded to bad. I will say: it rocked.
Okay…..seconds tickin away…..I’ll leave you with the following video, seeing as it is Friday the 13th and all.
I’ve actually never seen the original Friday the 13th…..I’ve heard its pretty damn scary. The problem with me and scary movies is that I’m a total pussy, and will actually leave the room or turn away from the TV when it gets too scary. But in a perverse sort of way, like anyone else, I love them. Well, I’ll stop talking now….my lunch break was over two minutes ago.
Until Next Time,
Greg
Some Quick Hit Thoughts
Hey There,
This is gonna be quick, cause I’m going to play trivia at a bar. Just a couple things:
I am so glad that Howard K. Stern is not the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. Seriously….the way this guy just dragged himself through the media was disgusting. Howard K. Stern…..I laugh in your face. That being said, I was personally rooting for Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband to be the father: he was a real dark horse candidate, but I was pulling for the guy (honestly, I wonder what Zsa Zsa thought when her husband said, “You know what, I may that kid’s father!”).
Did she root for him, since he’s her husband and everything. Or is she just so old that she has no idea what was going on the whole time? I say the latter; that’s just me.
Anyway, in all reality I’m glad the ex-boyfriend was the father. And I’m really glad that my roomate’s hack-brained philosophy wasn’t true: that the real father was her son. (This ridicoulous, disturbing rumor was started by Boston morning DJ Matty in the Morning, on KISS 108 FM. There are some eerie concincidences: he killed himself the day the baby died, ect, ect….But I’m sorry….that whole scenario is just to evil for my liking. Thank god that school of thought is dead). (I like that this was a game….and we were all rooting for daddies).
Moving on….
If I hear one more thing about Don Imus….seriously, one more thing….I’m gonna throw a rock at my fridge (I feel the TV is a cliched thing to throw a rock at). Honestly….let it go. I tried to watch CNN this morning to get some news…..and all I got was Imus stories. Seriously…..we gave a shit four days ago, we don’t care anymore, National Media Idiots.
Speaking of CNN…..CNN sucks, but cnn.com is the bomb! Proof again….the internet kicks TV’s ass.
For any of you who don’t know…..Dice K is pitching against Ichiro and the Mariners tonight. Watch it….NOW. NESN in Boston….ESPN anywhere else.
Okay folks…times up. Time to go kick some trivia ass on a Wednesday night. Peace kids!!
Until Next Time,
Greg
